V's Voice

Welcome Bishop Joe Vasquez!

Our new Bishop of the Diocese of Austin was installed today!
 
I am filled with pride that he is Mexican-American.  The Hispanic population of Austin is really growing fast and there are great expectations that he will do great things for this diocese.  He appears to be a very reserved person but I'm eager to see what he does.  Archbishop Oscar Romero started off as very reserved.  That's what I love about the Church.  You just never have any idea how the Holy Spirit will work through someone.

I'm not sure what was different but I thought this was one of the most memorable Academy Awards shows I have seen.  The actors and actresses just seemed really sincere and humble and gracious.  (And I thought the dresses were fabulous.)  This really struck me as very different from shows in the past.  All the memorable winners in the past have been people that have gone nuts when their names were called.  Cuba Gooding Jr.  Roberto Benigni.  They were running around, jumping, so excited. 

This is the opposite of how Monique and Sandra Bullock reacted when their names were called.  I'm not sure they even smiled but their words were gracious and seemed genuine.  With the look that Sandra Bullock had on her face, I actually thought she was going to refuse the award .  I don't think it's bad for actors/actresses to be happy and excited when they win but this change in the etiquette for winning an Oscar is kinda awesome. 

I thought Sandra's speech was really touching.  I thought the way she talked about moms and her mom was really something that America needs to hear.  Too many parents want to be "cool" and want to be their kids' "friend".  You can't do this.  You have to be their parents.  You don't get good parent points when your 8 year old looks "hot" or when you let your kids do whatever they want because you want to be "down".  I want to be the kind of mom that Helga B. was.  A good mom.

Here's Sandra Bullock's speech if you're interested:

"Did I really earn this or did I just wear you all down?  I would like to thank the Academy for allowing me the last month to have the most incredible ride with rooms full of artists that I see tonight, that I've worked with before and I hope to work with in the future. Who inspire me; who blaze trails for us. 

Four of them that I have fallen deeply in love with, I share this night with and this award with.  Gabby, I love you so much.  You are exquisite.  You are beyond words to me.  Carey your grace and your elegance and your beauty and your talent makes me sick.  Helen, I feel like we are family, real family and I don't have the words to express just what I think of you.  Meryl, you know what I think of you and you're such a good kisser.  

I have so many people to thank for my good fortune in this lifetime and this is a once in a lifetime experience, I know.  To the family that allowed me to play them, the Tuohy family, who I know are in here.  You'll probably hear her in a minute.  Maybe not.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to play you.  To the family that made this film that gave me the opportunity to do something different. [Listed people I don't know]  To everyone who showed me kindness when it wasn't fashionable I thank you.  To everyone who was mean to me, George Clooney threw me in a pool years ago, I'm still holding a grudge.

But there are so many people to thank but there's not enough time so I'd like to thank what this film was about to me which is the moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from.  Those moms and parents never get thanked.  I in particular failed to thank one.

If I can take this moment to thank Helga B. for not letting me ride in cars with boys until I was 18 because she was right.  I would've done what she said I was gonna do. For making me practice every day when I got home.  Piano, ballet, whatever it is I wanted to be. She said to be an artist, you had to practice every day, and for reminding her daughters that there's no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love. So, to that trailblazer, who allowed me to have that.  And this.  And this.  I thank you so much for this opportunity that I share with these extraordinary women and my lover, Meryl Streep."

The whole Meryl Streep lover thing was kinda weird but I'm all for actors and actresses using their celebrity to inspire America to be humble and good parents.

This is one of a gazillion nicknames I have for the Squeaker.  Since I'm with her just about every second of every day I come up with a new name for her pretty often.  The list of them is for a later post.  But I reserve Grumpy Mumkins for when she's being a total grouch. 

I have been following the facebook updates of several people that have had babies recently.  They are so joyous and happy.  All their posts talk about how happy they are and how every moment with their baby is a beautiful gift that takes their breath away.  That life is perfect and they could never imagine the happiness they would feel all the time with a child.

Reading this filled me with complete and utter annoyance.  These babies are only in their first months.  These people should be sleep deprived and hormonal.  Our first month with O was really hard.  Ok, let's be honest, it was kind of miserable.  She wouldn't let us put her down.  Ever.  She didn't sleep unless she was in someone's arms.  Breastfeeding was super difficult.  And because hormones were up and down trying to settle into their pre-pregnancy ways, I was a wreck.  A total wreck.  Those first months, the name of the game was survival.  Every day I was totally in love with my daughter and was so happy to be a mom but that doesn't mean it was kittens and rainbows all the time.  These people posting these facebook messages, come on, [gag] give me a break.

I shared these sentiments with Kraft at dinner one night.  My very wise husband knows that sometimes I need to say things that are in my head even if they're dumb.  He knows that he doesn't particularly have to respond or tell me that I'm being dumb because I'll figure it out.  I need time to mull it over.  So after I stated my case he just sat their and looked at me while munching on dinner.  I stared at him for a few seconds, "Am I being a jerk?"  "Eh, a little."  Munching continued.

I know.  I was being a jerkface.  After giving it some more thought, I realized that I was annoyed by these happy and joyous statements because they made me feel like a bad mom.  I felt like I was a bad mom for not enjoying labor.  A bad mom for sometimes getting so frustrated with O that I had to give her to Brandon because I wanted to drop her.  A bad mom for not being happy every second that I held O.  A bad mom because I wanted to scream if O woke up again during the night crying.

No.  I am not a bad mom.  My experience and the way I cope with things is just different.  Can't I just let these moms revel in the joy that is a new child without pooping on their parade?  Yes, I can.  I have these wonderful joy-filled moments with O everyday.  Motherhood, along with being fun and great, is a life of sacrifice, of frustration, of pain, of loneliness, of confusion, of second-guessing, of total responsibility and accountability.  But then in the middle of these moments, your little squeaker looks up at you and gives you a huge grin from ear to ear and your soul feels like it is soaring.  And you just have to say, you little punk.

New moms - be cheesy, be ecstatic, be angry, be sleepy, be whatever you need to be.  In the end we know you are completely in love with your baby even if you don't feel it every moment of every day.

I'll stop being a grumpy mumkins.  Without the bitter the sweet ain't as sweet, right?

Brilliant is what the Exersaucer is.  This is the first toy that we have found that the Squeaker will stay occupied in for more than 5 minutes.  It's awesome.  This is a conversation that Kraft and O just had while she was playing in it:

O: [chewing on a toy fish attached to the Exersaucer]
K: Honey, it's not Friday.  You don't have to eat fish today.

I love my family.

PS.  For those wondering, this is not a pic of O.  Just some stock photo.

I think most people would characterize me as a modest person but motherhood changes all sorts of things.  No, that doesn't mean I walk around in a micro-mini and a bra but my modesty, as far as breastfeeding goes, went out the window in NYC.  Like I mentioned in a previous post, you just have to nurse wherever you are because you can't go to your car or anything like that.  It was actually really liberating finally becoming comfortable with breastfeeding in public.  I was always just so nervous that someone was going to think I was being indecent.  Thankfully, S was really supportive and made me feel like it was not a big deal to feed the Squeaker wherever we were no matter how cramped the space was.

So I discreetly threw a blanket over my shoulder and fed O in the following places:

Grey Dog's Coffee - I enjoyed a delicious apple cider here.  There was a couple here that was super PDAing it but they kept admiring O.  I wonder if she was pregnant.

Suzu Sushi - We walked in and were the only customers in the restaurant for a good 40 minutes.  It was kinda funny, the whole place was empty but they sat us right up against the window.
 
The Met - Right by the Medieval Art section.  It was kinda beautiful to feed O surrounded by paintings of Mary and Jesus.  The American Wing with the Tiffany's stained glass window was really amazing.

St. Ignatius of Loyola Catholic Church - We ducked into this church when it was snowing like crazy and there was lots of slush everywhere because the plows hadn't come through yet.  What a refuge we found.  And it worked out perfectly because we arrived 30mins before daily Mass so we sat and prayed (O ate) and then we stayed for Mass.  When we left the sidewalks were a lot better.  Store owners had shoveled the areas in front of their stores so it was much more navigable.
 
Otto Pizzeria - Talk about cramped.  I couldn't feed O at the table because the tables around us were so close together that I would have had one elbow in the table on either side of us.  I had to feed her in the bathroom.  This is actually the first place O ever sat in a highchair.  What a rock star.

Rockefeller Center - After eating at Otto's, we went and bought some cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery.  We took the cupcakes to the bottom floor of Rockefeller Center and ate them as we watched people ice skating.  Yum.

Who cares, you may ask.  Me.  Just wanting to remember how my modesty was changed for the better on this trip. 

No, not Farouk Shami. 

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream has pledged to go totally Fair Trade by 2013!  How awesome is that.  What trailblazers.  I really hope other businesses start catching on to this.  So many places say they support Fair Trade business but only offer like one coffee selection that is Fair Trade.  Ben & Jerry's is going to go Fair Trade for every ingredient they use that can possibly be Fair Trade.

You go Ben & Jerry's!

When I taught last year there was one student who I will forever remember because of a statement he made.  I believe he said it during a discussion about the election between McCain and Obama.  He stood up and proclaimed the following to the class (dead serious):

"Fox News is a beacon of light."

It took a lot not to die laughing in front of the class.  I think of this all the time.

In NYC when the Squeaker and I were on our own wandering around Union Square in the rain by ourselves, I remembered this quote.  Squeaksy had been asleep for a while and I knew she was going to wake up soon and be starving.  In Austin I'm always able to go out to the car if she needs to be fed and we're out of the house but here, what was I going to do?  No car.  Not anywhere near home.  Ok, I saw a Starbucks.  I guess I'll go in there, order a chai tea and park myself in a corner with a blanket and feed her.  Awkward but whatever.  Then as I am walking toward Starbucks, I see it.  My beacon of light.  Babies 'R Us.  Hallelujah.  They have what's called "A Mothers Room" that has changing tables, comfy couches to use while nursing, and very serene hues of blue and green on the wall.  I've never been more relieved. 

Babies 'R Us - huge national chain but whatever, they know their **it.

When we were planning our trip to NY Kraft asked me what I wanted to do in the city.  The only thing I for sure wanted to do was eat pancakes at the Clinton Street Baking Co.  We learned about this restaurant on "Throwdown with Bobby Flay".

First off, let me say that restaurants in NYC are tiny and crammed with tables.  These places are very efficient with their space.  So we walk into this place that has no more than 12 tables and bump into the owner.  I recognized him from the TV show.  He stopped and looked at Olivia and said, "Ah, well, aren't you guys brave to be out there with her?"  And smiled and walked out.  Super nice guy.  We got a table immediately.  Kraft ordered the blueberry pancakes (their famous for these) and I ordered their banana and chocolate pancakes.

It was a really hard hike to this place.  It was really snowing a lot.  The ground was slushy.  I was slipping all over the place.  Man, these pancakes better be worth all this trouble.  They totally were.  Oh my goodness, these pancakes were delicious.  Mine had fried bananas on top with a drizzle of chocolate sauce.  They are served with warm maple butter.  That's right, m-a-p-l-e b-u-t-t-e-r.  I'm so sad that they don't have this in Austin.  I've never eaten such good pancakes.  I don't know what their recipe is for them but I will definitely be trying Bobby Flay's recipe and see if they're anywhere near as good.

If you are in NY, go to this place.  Really, you'll love it.

I had been to NYC once before this last week but this trip was different.  I had a baby.  This made all the difference in the world.  Getting around NY with a baby gives you a very unique peek into Yankee hospitality.  When we arrived in NY I had an instant dread of how rudely we were going to be treated since having the Squeaker with us meant that we were going to be moving around more slowly than most.  I could not have been more wrong.

We did a lot of bus/subway/tram rides around town.  Let's say we rode an average of 6 rides on public transit per day and we were in NY for 6 days.  Every single time (except for one tram ride) someone gave up their seat for me since I was carrying O.  (If you want a visual, I was carrying her in a Moby)  I was floored.  These hardened New Yorkers were giving up their seats for me.  An obviously wide-eyed, naive tourist.  How nice.

This hospitality, though, definitely is different from the southern kind.  It's not warm.  There's no small talk.  They just do it and pretend nothing happened.  It's just helpful.  As if everyone is secretly looking out for everyone else without letting down the icy, don't-mess-with-me guard.  After being privy to this side of NY life, I really saw this attitude everywhere I went.  

Our friend, S, broke her foot a few years back and had to walk around with a boot for a while.  I think she described it perfectly with the following: "I would get on the subway with my boot and a big, tough guy would get up and offer his seat.  It's not a 'Oh, you poor thing.  Here, take my seat.'  It's more a 'Take the seat, bitch' kind of thing."

The first time we encountered this was when Kraft was trying to give me directions to Union Square where I was going to meet S.  He was going in the opposite direction to get to his conference.  The idea of me and O wandering around NY alone was scary but I didn't want to be stuck at the apartment alone either.  We stood there in front of the escalators with Kraft giving me directions and me obviously in a semi-panic when this guy kinda yelled at us across the lobby and asked where we were going.  New Yorkers, I found out later, are really used to giving lost people directions.  I saw this happen countless times as we rode around the city.  Later, S told me that everyone will help you get on the right subway because everyone knows how much it sucks to be on the wrong train and lost.

Another thing I noticed was that the people that offered me their seats spanned all classes, ethnicities, ages, and English-speaking abilities.  I don't remember every single person that offered me their seat but I do remember a middle-aged, nicely dressed white woman; a Hispanic teeny-bopper with a Bob Marley necklace and a crazy strong Brooklyn accent; and an older Indian man who barely spoke English.  Seriously, everyone was willing to give up their seat.  The second I got on a subway train, if there were people standing, they would start looking at the people sitting to see who was going to get up for me.  Kind of like if no one was going to get up right away, the people standing would stare them down until someone did. 

I got to see this happen to pregnant women, too.  Whenever a pregnant woman would get on the subway or bus I would watch to see how people reacted to her.  You could see a line of people trying to catch her eye to offer their seat.  They really had a keen eye.  I wouldn't say that people seemed particularly happy or excited to give up their seat, but when duty called, they were ready.

It snowed a lot the last few days we were there and after a lot of snow, comes a lot of melting snow.  As the snow melted it would slip off roofs or awnings.  One time in particular we had just gotten off the tram and a mother and her young daughter were unlucky enough to have a lot of snow fall on them as they were walking along the street.  Immediately a group of people circled them and helped them brush the snow off.  It was amazing to see.  There really were about 4 or 5 people helping them.

I thought, OK, New Yorkers are just helpful when it comes to somewhat vulnerable women and children in the city.  Nope.  When we were walking around the Met (which was so freakin' awesome, by the way), Kraft dropped his map and another guy walking by immediately picked it up for him.  No hesitation.

I know New York City isn't perfect.  I know there are lots of problems.  But, man, after last week, I have a whole new respect for New Yorkers.  I really liked their hospitality.  It was a really humble kind.  A kind that did not expect any gratitude at all.

Thanks New York City, for having our backs.

Another way I like to think about Jesus' Transfiguration is seeing people transformed in front of me.  I believe that the true identity of a person is what they would be like if they were perfect.  Not perfect as in perfect hair and makeup.  Perfect in the way Jesus was perfect.  True, none of us is perfect but we have to strive to this Jesus perfection and when we attain that (hopefully in heaven) that is our true self. 

When I catch people being selfless or showing love to others, that's when I feel like I am watching that person's transfiguration.  On a smaller level than Jesus shining bright as light but transfigured nonetheless.  Like today when I saw one of my old students giving the Eucharist to an old woman in the back of the church because she was unable to walk to the front - that was him transfigured before me for a second.  I know he isn't always perfect, but in that moment he was Jesus in the love he showed the woman.

I felt that same way about New York this past week.  Kraft had to go to a Paulist thing so me and O tagged along so that I could visit one of my best friends, S.  I was totally floored by the hospitality that was shown to me and O.  Seriously.  Floored.  People took care of us everywhere we went in NYC.  I'll blog about it more at length in the next few days but it was beautiful.  New York was transfigured in front of our eyes. 

While New York has its problems, we saw of glimpse of its perfection.